As a parent, you may often think, “is this normal for my baby or toddler“? As young children grow and change so quickly, you may wonder if their behaviour is down to a growth spurt or something more. We’re joined by clinical social worker and mental health advocate Michael Vallejo who’s here to set your mind at rest by explaining why so many common baby and toddler behaviours are completely normal.
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Why Parents Worry – Baby And Toddler Behaviours
It’s common to feel unsure or overwhelmed when your child’s behaviour seems unexpected or intense. Many parents share worries about whether their child is acting in a way that is appropriate and ‘normal’ for their age. However, understanding this behaviour can help stop you worrying. As a clinical social worker with a specialism in mental health for children, I’m here to reassure you about different behaviours that are completely normal in young children.
So let’s unpack the quirks, outbursts, and patterns behind baby and toddler behaviour, so you start feeling more confident and prepared.
Common (and Often Misunderstood) Baby Behaviours
Let’s start with the babies. Babies change quickly, and so does the way they act. Some things might seem odd or worrying at first, but they’re often just part of how your baby learns about the world.
1. Crying Without Obvious Cause
It can feel distressing when your baby cries and you don’t know why. Not all crying means hunger or pain. Some babies cry when they are tired, overstimulated, or needing comfort. Others react to small discomforts like itchy fabric or changes in routine.
In the first few months, some babies go through a phase called PURPLE crying. This is a period of frequent, intense crying that happens without a clear reason.
PURPLE crying is an acronym:
- Peak of crying
- Unexpected
- Resists soothing
- Pain-like face
- Long lasting
- Evening
During this phase, expect more long-lasting crying from your baby, which can happen without a clear reason. Even if you try to soothe them, they might not calm down. This happens more in the evening.
PURPLE crying is normal, temporary, and lasts until 3 to 5 months of age.
While it’s exhausting, this phase will pass. Knowing this can help reduce worry and remind you that you and your baby aren’t doing anything wrong.
2. Head Banging, Body Rocking, and Repetitive Motions
When a baby repeatedly bangs their head or rocks back and forth, it can look alarming to parents. But these actions often offer comfort. Babies may do this to self-soothe, especially before sleep. Many children outgrow these behaviours by age three to five.
If there’s no sign of injury, regression, or developmental delay, it’s usually nothing to fear.
3. Stranger Anxiety and Separation Worries
Stranger anxiety and separation worries often appear during the first year of a child’s life. This signals your baby’s strong attachment and growing awareness of the world.
During this time, your baby is starting to recognise who feels safe to them. These anxieties are normal, and the behavior will gradually decrease as your child grows.
Common Toddler Behaviours That Can Raise Eyebrows
Toddlers can act in ways that feel confusing. But a lot of these behaviors are normal and part of growing up.
1. Tantrums, Screaming And Emotional Outbursts
Toddlers feel emotions deeply. Because they don’t have the full language or developed emotional regulation skills yet, they act out their feelings instead.
Tantrums may erupt over small frustrations or limits they don’t accept. This doesn’t mean poor parenting. It means your child is learning about boundaries, control, and communication.
2. Aggressive Behaviours (Hitting, Biting, Throwing)
Toddler aggression can feel upsetting, but it often stems from curiosity or frustration. Some toddlers hit to explore, while others do it to gain attention. It is also common for toddlers to do this when they’re feeling overwhelmed or during tantrums, because they can’t manage their emotions yet.
These actions reflect their stage of development, not bad behaviour. With proper guidance and clear boundaries, toddlers can learn safer ways to express themselves.
3. Obsessions with Repetition (Same Book, Same Routine)
Repetition gives toddlers a sense of control. Whether it’s reading the same book or sticking to strict routines, this predictability feels safe and comforting.
Regular patterns help toddlers understand what comes next, like playtime before lunch. Also, a familiar rhythm makes transitions easier for them, especially when you entrust your child to another caregiver.
What seems difficult now may actually show that your child is growing and developing just as they should.
1. Pushing Boundaries Shows Cognitive Growth
Between 6 to 12 months, babies start exploring more and testing limits. They might throw things or grab off-limits items, not to misbehave, but to learn. These actions show growing independence and curiosity.
This stage is a normal part of their growth, so setting clear limits and offering choices within limits can be helpful. Stay patient and consistent as you and your baby figure it all out.
2. Intense Emotions Reflect Strong Attachment
If your child cries when you leave or only wants you for comfort, it can be tough, but it’s actually a good sign. It means they feel safe with you. Separation anxiety is an indicator of a secure attachment to you.
The best way to approach this is to spend more time cuddling with them, comfort them when they’re distressed, and practise brief periods of separation.
How To Support Yourself As A Parent – Baby And Toddler Behaviours
Parenting an anxious child can leave you feeling drained or unsure. That’s why supporting yourself matters just as much as understanding your child.
1. You’re Not Alone, And You’re Doing Better Than You Think
What you see on social media isn’t the full story. All parents face hard days, confusion, and big emotions from their kids. That doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong. It means your child is learning and growing.
Talk to other parents or a professional if you need support. You don’t have to do it alone.
2. Remember The Power of Observation Over Judgment
Before calling a behaviour “bad,” pause and look closer. What led to it? What was your child trying to get or avoid? This helps you understand them better and makes you feel less stressed.
My Takeaway About Common Baby And Toddler Behaviours
Most baby and toddler behaviors that spark concern fall well within the range of normal development. They cry. They cling. And push limits. You wonder if something’s wrong, but often, everything is going right.
If certain behaviors seem extreme or don’t improve over time, it might help to explore whether they fall under behavioral problems in children. A professional can assess and guide you toward the right support, including therapy, parenting strategies, or further evaluation. But more often than not, these behaviours will be completely normal and developmentally-appropriate for your baby or toddler. So take a deep breath and relax!
Thanks To Our Guest Expert: Michael Vallejo
Michae Vallejo is a licensed clinical social worker with a private therapy practice in Colorado Springs, Colorado. He specialises in helping children and teens with mental health concerns and is passionate about providing effective and compassionate care. As an advocate for mental health awareness, he is also the founder of Mental Health Center Kids, a website that provides resources and support for parents, teachers, and mental health professionals who care for children and teens.
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