The Types Of Stress And How To Relieve Them As A Parent

Are you a new or existing parent who’s suddenly found they’ve got a lot on their plate? It’s usual to experience a healthy level of stress in day-to-day life, but when you throw juggling work-life balance and kids into the mix, it’s true that stress levels can get ramped up to a less than healthy level. So check out our handy guide on the different types of stress and how to relieve them as a parent.

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Physical Stress

Whether or not you already do a physically demanding job, having a new baby to lift and a car seat to haul in and out of the car along with other baby equipment can sometimes prove a bit too much. Or carrying toddlers (who’ve suddenly got really heavy!) can feel like the last straw (not to mention carrying a toddler and a baby!)

If you’ve had a C-section, you really should be avoiding all physical lifting work for the first six weeks and until you’re signed off by your GP. If you’ve had a vaginal birth, there can be tears and stitches to consider – not to mention abdominal separation (which in extreme cases can sometimes last for years if you don’t get on top of it). 

This is why pre and postnatal Pilates and yoga classes focus so much on rebuilding core strength. Really good providers will do some of those moves you naturally have to do as a parent (like drawing your arm back to lift shopping into a car, or rotating your body and arm to get a baby seat in the car).

How To Relieve Physical Stress As A Parent:

• Get a partner to do the lifting and carrying where possible
• Join a gentle exercise class like Pilates
• Consider doing some buggy walks classes or just go for regular walks round the block
• Carry your baby in a sling if it’s easier on your back (just be extra mindful of sling safety and positioning your baby correctly. Current guidance says don’t feed baby in a sling)
• Dance with your baby! You could join a baby dance class or similar
• See support from your GP, nurse or health professional if you think you need it or if you have abdominal separation (which should be checked out at your 6-week check-up)
• Eat a well-balanced diet to give you the right sort of fuel for physical activity and keep your blood sugar levels in check

Emotional Stress

Parenting is emotional, yes (for all mums, dads and caregivers). So go with the flow. If you need to cry, cry. If you need to express your feelings, do so. We’re no longer in the age of keeping a stiff upper lip and holding all those emotions in. Being in tune with your own emotions more (and knowing how to release them safely) can, in turn, help you be in tune more with your children and partner’s feelings, and help them find ways to regulate and manage their own emotions too.

It’s normal to feel the ‘baby blues’ in the first few days or couple of weeks following the birth of your baby. But if your feelings last longer than these, or you think you may be suffering from postnatal depression, then make sure you contact your GP and seek support. We also have some PND resources and links to support here on our website.

Did you know that Stress Awareness Month has been held every April since 1992? Try our tips below for how to relieve emotional stress as a parent.

How To Relieve Emotional Stress As A Parent:

• Talk regularly to trusted friends or family members
• Do active things you enjoy, like walking, going on days out, running, cycling (a walk in the rain can be surprisingly rejuvenating and is really good for you)
• Meet with other parents and have a coffee or amble
• Go to baby or toddler classes where you’ll find other parents with children of a similar age
• Listen to music or a favourite podcast
• Sing! Here are some of our favourite tunes you can sing with your baby or toddler as loudly or quietly as you like
• Play a game with your children
• Eat a healthy diet to help regulate your blood sugar and mood
• Keep a diary or journal
• Do a favourite hobby like crafting
• Avoid too much time on your phone or social media if it’s contributing to your emotional stress
• Seek support from medical professionals if needed

What Sort Of Things Can Lead To Extra Stress For Parents?

• Worries about your baby or child’s eating/drinking habits – check our article about top tips for if your toddler’s a fussy eater
• Your baby or child’s sleeping patterns – here’s an article from holistic sleep coach Keri Rock about newborn sleep
• Lack of sleep or time with your family/partner 
• Managing work-life balance and juggling work with childcare 
• The physical and emotional demands of giving birth and changes to lifestyle that follows 
• General anxiety about being or becoming a parent 
• Issues your child may be facing at school or nursery – here are 9 top tips from a clinical psychologist about how to support your child as they start school or nursery
• Developmental issues your child may be going through – read here for some different ways on how to manage toddler tantrums
• Housework
• Money worries  – check here for which benefits and support there is for parents
• Conflict in your relationship or sorting out custody/childcare for your children
• Managing life as a single parent – read one dad’s take on busting myths around single fatherhood
• Trying to fit in time for self-care

The Maternal Mental Load

Loads has been written about the maternal mental load – another type of emotional stress where you’re constantly thinking and planning about what needs to be done. If you think your mental load is getting out of hand, look for ways to relieve it and redistribute it so you and your partner can take a more equal share.

Also, if your children are starting to be a bit more grown up, you may want to look at different styles of parenting which gives them a little bit more independence, like Viking Parenting. 

Did You Know That A Little Bit Of Stress Is Good For You?

A small amount of stress which motivates you to get stuff done is healthy. Ideally, you get a small adrenaline hit, complete the task, then your stress levels return to normal.

But if you’re constantly feeling in ‘flight or fight’ mode and your stress levels are either high or constantly in the background and low-level (which can lead to anxiety), maybe it’s time to see a doctor and try our stress-busting tactics. Nobody wants cortisol in their system all the time.

Disclaimer: Here at Happity, we’re not experts, but we can point you in the direction of some useful resources and organisations, like: PANDAS (Pre and Postnatal Depression Advice and Support) and loads more here. 

And, of course, please ask your GP or health professional if you’re worried about your stress levels, or you think you may be suffering from postnatal depression, which can also affect up to one in ten new dads too. 

Want to get out and about, have fun with your baby or toddler, and meet other parents?

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