School Transitioning: How to Support Your Children While Having School Aversion – This Is Family

School Transitioning: How to Support Your Children While Having School Aversion – This Is Family

I thought I had put it behind me. Still, when my son started school, the sight of pinboards, the sounds of the playground, and the smells of disinfectant and lunch mixed together were incredibly triggering. I was back to feeling like I could cry, that I should run and remember the salty taste of tears. 

Helen Rimmer, mum of two, from The Kind Brave Leader shares her story of how her school aversion affected her children’s transition to school, and what she advises to parents in a similar situation. Read on to find out her story.

I Was A School Refuser

I would cry, I would scream, and my mum had to carry me in. School made me go into fight or flight. Even as I write that, I can feel my heart beating faster like a fast drum, I can feel myself tense up, and I feel about 7 again, a small child holding on to my mum, sobbing that wretched, all-encompassing cry that small children do. I hated school, and whilst I remember some great teachers, I have this deep-seated feeling of wanting to run from school. In fact, I decided at age 6 that I wanted a governess, and I was most aggrieved to discover that this was not feasible. 

Luckily, I screamed less and less as I went through school, but I never liked it. My mum was a teacher, and I knew many teachers, but this didn’t stop me from wanting to run. It was almost bigger than me or the individual teachers; it was all about the institution. I now know I thrive in flexibility and hate rules. I was not built for school. Autonomy calms me and makes me happy. I will always question rules and prefer to avoid being told what to do. I have a powerful sense of justice and am not the most conformist person. It is not a recipe for schools that are all about rules and conformity (or were in the 80s/90s). 

I thought I had put it behind me. Still, when my son started school, the sight of pinboards, the sounds of the playground, and the smells of disinfectant and lunch mixed together were incredibly triggering. I was back to feeling like I could cry, that I should run and remember the salty taste of tears. 

Children in school uniform hold hands, seen from behind

The Transition From Child To Parent

Our own experiences can significantly influence our approach to education and parenting. For instance, if I am more sensitive to my children’s emotional signals and prioritise their well-being over academic achievements. I approached schooling my son cautiously, aiming to protect him from similar experiences of misunderstanding and isolation.

As parents, we are highly attuned to our children’s emotional needs, which influence our parenting style. We might strive to be more communicative, empathetic, and supportive, creating an open environment where our children feel comfortable expressing their fears and anxieties.

I began to realise that our past experiences of school refusal could influence our feelings about our child’s start at school. This realisation came gradually, during school visits, at pick-up and parents’ evenings. It was a poignant moment filled with personal memories and concerns for our child’s future.

Acknowledging My Past While Supporting My Children

I now realise I need to reflect on how I can support my children without projecting my fears around school onto them, which is essential. I now balance acknowledging my past with allowing my children to carve their own paths, ensuring they feel supported and understood.

Acknowledging the impact of my school refusal experiences on my approach to my child starting school is an opportunity to use my understanding and empathy to guide and support them through their educational journey. I can share my strength and resilience, showing them that while challenges may arise, they are not insurmountable.

In essence, transitioning from being a child who refused school to a parent navigating my child’s education is a journey of growth, learning, and love. It’s about transforming my past experiences into a source of strength and empathy for my children as they embark on their educational adventures.

Children are doing some crafts, with a teacher helping them

Manifestations Of Anxiety

As my child’s school journey approached, I revisited my anxieties. The school environment, with its rules and structures, triggered memories of my discomfort, leading me to avoid school pickups and drop-offs. My fears extended to how my child would adapt socially and academically, prompting vigilant scrutiny of their educational experience.

Preparing My Child For School

While my deeply buried feelings about school surprised me the first time, I am determined to support my younger child’s transition into school. I am focused on building a positive narrative around education, familiarising them with the school environment, and fostering their social and emotional skills. Establishing routines and maintaining open communication was key to ensuring they felt secure and understood. I will also reach out to their future teachers, laying the foundation for a supportive partnership.

The Role Of Schools In Supporting Families

On my son’s first day, we weren’t allowed to go in with them; from my point of view, we were handing them over to these strangers in this huge, scary place, and even though my son was sobbing, I had to walk away. That experience was awful. I felt as small and inadequate as I did at age 7. 

Of course, I’m reluctant to put more pressure on teachers, they have a hard enough job already. But schools have a significant role in easing the transition for children and parents alike. An approach to listening to parents includes some active listening and, in the future, an education system that allows teachers time to work with parents more.

I’d also like to see more understanding of how challenging school can be for parents based on their own experiences. Clear communication channels and responsive support systems are essential in creating a nurturing educational environment.

Advice To Parents In Similar Situations

To parents facing similar anxieties, remember you’re not alone. Acknowledge your feelings, communicate openly with your child, and seek professional guidance. Building a support network and focusing on your child’s emotional and social readiness can empower you to navigate this transition more effectively.

This journey from a school refuser to a proactive parent has been one of growth, learning, and love. It has taught me the value of understanding, empathy, and support in transforming educational experiences.

By sharing my story, I hope to offer reassurance and practical advice to other parents navigating the start of school when their own experience wasn’t great. With the right approach, it’s possible to guide our children through their school journey with confidence and joy.

Helen is an executive coach, mentor, and trainer specialising in kindness and wellbeing. Check out The Kind Brave Leader today

A dad hugs his daughter outside a school

Would You Like To Share YOUR Story?

We’d love to hear from you. This Is Family is all about sharing family stories. Especially from families who feel like their voices are not often heard. Every family has a unique story to tell. We’d love to hear yours. Find out how you can feature on our blog and get involved. So that other parents can feel less alone.

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Dancing, Parenting And Running A Business – How I Do It With Suzy Young

Dancing, Parenting And Running A Business – How I Do It With Suzy Young

How do you juggle work, parenting, and everything that happens in between? One parent shares how they make it all work, taking us through a single day in their busy lives, from morning cuppa to bedtime routine.

Suzy Young left her pre-motherhood corporate job to found Dance Baby Dance – a fun and friendly dance class for baby-wearers. She lives in Crystal Palace with her husband Matt and their son Teddy (almost 2).

My Day Starts… 

Too early! I’ll be honest and say I am not a morning person. Often I am woken around 8.30am by my trooper of a Mum – Teddy’s adored Nana – coming to take care of him while I run classes.

My husband and I take turns to go in to Teddy when he wakes at night, though I’m the preferred caregiver if Teddy wants to breastfeed, so we can be pretty tired. I usually shower in the evenings, so I’ll just cleanse and moisturise my face (currently dealing with some lovely postpartum rosacea), brush teeth, get dressed, make Teddy’s breakfast, chug a cup of tea and head out the door with a piece of toast hanging out of my mouth!

I don’t like sneaking away so my Mum and I try to make sure Teddy is playing happily when I say goodbye. He’s usually fine with that, especially as he’s staying in his own space with Nana and loves seeing her so much. I’m on the road by 9am for the most part but have always struggled with timekeeping…

My Work Day Begins… 

It varies, as I teach with Sing and Sign Southwark three days a week, and Dance Baby Dance classes two days a week, at various venues around Crystal Palace and Penge. I’ve had to give myself a deadline to arrive to venues at least 20 minutes before class times just in case the space needs attention (I’m a dab hand with a dustpan and brush), though I also really enjoy putting my music on as soon as I get inside to gee me up!

I usually drive to venues but when the weather is better I’ll be able to walk to some of them if I can carry all the gear I need! I try to minimise class ‘luggage’ where I can, but I do like to bring some thick, warm blankets to make a cosy corner at dance class so baby can lie down somewhere safe and comfy while we adjust baby carriers etc. It’s a nice place to chat and connect with other families afterwards.

I love welcoming the parents/carers and babies to class, I always try to make people feel welcome. Although I am atrocious with names, I never forget a face, and often see class alumni out and about which is so nice. I love providing classes in my local community. Getting to see the little ones grow and change is both beautiful and exciting.

Before I Was A Mum

Before we had Teddy my husband and I both worked corporate jobs in central London. We were both earning well enough and my employer had been supportive when I took maternity leave.

Though I found as Teddy reached 10 months old, and I started looking at going back to work, I became more and more miserable. The thought of putting my little limpet baby in nursery for up to 12 hours a day caused me physical pain. Part-time would have been an option with my employer, though in order to afford childcare and make work pay I would have had to go back full-time.

We were fortunate that we could afford for me to take more (unpaid) time off and continue looking after Teddy while we figured out what to do next. In the meantime I’d been dreaming about Dance Baby Dance and what I’d need to make it possible. I’d found my first venue, and I’d planned a class, sorted my insurance and was on the verge of talking myself out of it… before deciding to go for it! That day in June 2023 I booked classes starting the following month and didn’t look back. Classes have been bookable via Happity ever since.

After Work

I’m not sure there really is much ‘after work’ with small children, and I used to find the post-dinner/pre-bath hour a reeeaaal slog! So I decided to flip that and now we either head out for a last walk (as long as there isn’t too much dinner in our hair) or we switch on the music in our living room and have a boogie.

Teddy loves dancing and leaping about, and it helps us get all the wiggles out before bedtime. He’s always very excited to see Dada around this time too. And then they do bath time together while I wash up (AKA check WhatsApp/emails/Happity for class bookings and post to Instagram and Facebook).

If we manage to get Teddy to sleep at a reasonable hour then we’ll watch a show and maybe have a glass of wine. Unless it’s Monday or Tuesday night, in which case I’m choreographing your next Dance Baby Dance class routines.

One Big Thing I’ve Learned As A Parent…

Everything has a season. This is true in so many ways and I know I’m really lucky to have been able to spend a lot more time with my son than other parents, though there are still so many challenges.

For example, night time sleep isn’t great for us just now, so while Teddy is still contact napping we bedshare and I sometimes nap then too, or catch up on admin and other tasks. I’ve actually written most of this while Teddy contact naps!

But I know one day I won’t be able to rock him to sleep in my arms anymore. So I try to remind myself of that when I’m struggling, notice his little face as he sleeps in my arms at 4am and relish it as much as I can. And then I pass out during our next contact nap! But this too shall pass. That thought has helped me ride a lot of emotional waves.

My Top Parenting Hack

getting to Sing and Sign classes and actually modelling and using baby signing at home. I know, I know, I would say that. But genuinely, there is a song in the syllabus for everything. Changing nappies, having milk, bath time, bedtime lullabies, and all accompanied by simple baby signs which eventually your little one will begin to understand and possibly even sign back to you! Before Teddy could talk he was able to ask me to open a door or a box or a book just by signing the word ‘open’. It’s astonishing.

I also loved going to the classes with Teddy, and now I am really excited to be teaching Sing and Sign classes (as well as Dance Baby Dance) in Crystal Palace to new families, so they can discover the joy of communication, music and movement together with their little ones too. Singing is a great regulator for our emotions.

I think getting out of the house every day is a game changer too, even if it’s just for a quick walk around the block with baby in the buggy or carrier. It really can change your mood. 

Five Years From Now…

Teddy will be at school (!), and I would love to be teaching classes, and maybe working with other people who want to start. There’s a lot more to it than you might think, especially with the amount of marketing you need to do to reach people.

I’ve also just started a group called ADHD Mums Connect, which is for Mums who identify as having ADHD to come together and find community and understanding. It would be great to add ‘support’ to that list, though we’ve a way to go yet before we can truly say we support neurodivergent mums with our group.

At the moment we’re focussing on connection and getting to grips with what might be useful for those who attend. I’m currently looking into diagnosis for myself, but it is a very long road, which is partly why I started the group – to find understanding in the meantime. Long term I would love to build a community which supports parents, especially those who may be coming to terms with a condition like ADHD.

If I could see five years into the future, and we were working with some regular families in the group, plus a few more at my classes, and my own family were healthy, happy and fed, then I think I’d be pretty chuffed with that.

Thanks To Suzy – Dance Baby Dance

Suzy Young is a dancer, dance teacher, Mum to Teddy (who is almost 2) and wife to husband, Matt. She has lived in Crystal Palace for over a decade and loves the area with its friendly community vibes and wonderful local independent businesses. She’s danced since she can remember, learning ballet, tap and modern as a child and Lindy-hop and swing dance as an adult, eventually coming to teach adults across London how to partner dance in the vibrant and thriving swing dance community.

Suzy, Matt and Teddy love dancing together, and so Suzy was inspired to start teaching Dance Baby Dance classes for baby-wearers and their babies in 2023 and started Toddler Jam! classes in 2024. She has loved bringing the joy of dance to families and babies ever since. Suzy has also started teaching Sing and Sign classes too, so there is a lot of music and movement in her life. 

Want To Get Out And About, Have Fun With Your Baby Or Toddler, And Meet Other Parents?

Search Happity to find everything that’s happening for the under-5’s in your local area – from music and singing classes, to messy play, arts and craftsbaby massage, gymnastics and more. Simply enter your postcode and child’s age to search, and then book your spot in a few taps. Enjoy dedicated fun time with your little one, watch their skills develop, and make friends at the same time. Mums, dads, grandparents and carers will all find something to love!

Find a class today!

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7 Easy Snacks To Make For Your Toddlers Party

7 Easy Snacks To Make For Your Toddlers Party

Having a party for toddlers is exciting, but thinking of everything from the snacks to the games (see our list of ideas here) can be overwhelming! You’ll want to make your snack prep as simple as possible, and we’ve got you covered. Check if any of your little guests have any allergies or dietary requirements, as ingredients can easily be swapped to be allergy-friendly (such as dairy-free milk, or gluten-free pizza bases), and then read on for our suggestions of easy and fun party snacks!

Rainbow Plate

A nice colourful, easy and healthy one: chop up some fruit and veg to create a rainbow on a platter. Red strawberries and peppers, oranges, yellow bananas, green kiwis and cucumbers and more. All look amazing when put together! A fun chance to talk to toddlers about different colours too. 

Fruit Kebab

Another healthy option, chop up some fruit (and maybe some veg too) and put it on a skewer (one that is toddler-friendly and not sharp) They’ll enjoy eating the food off a stick! 

Fruit kebabs on a plate

Baked Banana & Chocolate

You may have done this before while camping or on a BBQ. Slice a banana open while still in its peel, (don’t cut all of the way through though!) a bit like slicing a hotdog bun. Then add some chocolate chips or chocolate squares. Close up the banana again, and wrap in foil. Place these on a baking tray and put in the oven. They do not need long, just enough to melt the chocolate and soften the bananas. Give them 10 minutes then check to see if they are done to your liking! 

Pizza- Choose Your Own Toppings!

Take a shortcut by using naan bread or pitta pockets as a base (you can try garlic naans if your little guests like the flavour!) Add tomato or pasta sauce on top then let the toddlers choose their toppings. You could offer things like ham, plenty of cheese, halved cherry tomatoes, and anything else that your little guests like. They can add the toppings themselves and then have a grown up put the pizzas in the oven. 

A toddler adds toppings to a pizza

Breadstick Wands – Party Snacks For Toddlers

A fun and simple one. All you need are breadsticks, melted chocolate or chocolate spread and sprinkles. Dip your breadstick into the chocolate or chocolate spread, then into a bowl of sprinkles. You can do both ends for a double treat!

Mini Tortilla Wraps

Try cutting wraps in half and filling with a few different options. Try things like cream cheese, chocolate spread or nut butter. Roll these up into mini wraps. Toddlers often love anything mini! 

Milkshakes

If you have a blender, this is an easy one. Add milk, ice cream (the flavour of your choice) and something else for flavour, such as chopped fruit or chocolate spread. Delicious!

A strawberry milkshake with a straw

What else do I need?

It’s a good idea to have some hand sanitiser and wet wipes handy to keep those little hands clean (and useful for grown-ups too!) Either offer some reusable plates, cutlery and cups or get some paper plates (look out for biodegradable ones not coated in plastic). Also, provide somewhere for the children to put their rubbish – it is so much easier if you get them to tidy up themselves, and they usually enjoy it!

We hope you have found these party snacks for toddlers helpful, and have a fun party!

Party plates, straws and cups

Want To Get Out And About, Have Fun With Your Baby Or Toddler, And Meet Other Parents?

Search Happity to find everything that’s happening for the under-5’s in your local area – from music and singing classes, to messy play, arts and crafts, baby massage, gymnastics and more. Simply enter your postcode and child’s age to search, and then book your spot in a few taps. Enjoy dedicated fun time with your little one, watch their skills develop, and make friends at the same time. Mums, dads, grandparents and carers will all find something to love!

Find a class today!

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5 Mindfulness Activities In Nature For You And Your Family

5 Mindfulness Activities In Nature For You And Your Family

We are joined by Faye from Nature Makers, read on to find out her tips on Mindfulness in Nature!

As adults, we often think of mindfulness as being in a state of silence and relaxation, maybe taking a yoga class, meditating or journaling. However, being mindful is about being present and appreciating the moment. Children are amazing at noticing the world around them. I remember as a child, watching ants in the garden for what seemed like hours at a time. As we get older (and busier), these little moments of wonder become few and far between. So, here are five suggestions of mindful activities you can do as a family, to bring that wonder back into your lives.

1. Scavenger Hunt

If your children are anything like mine, competition and games bring them so much joy. To get your children to take more notice of the things around them, plan a nature-themed scavenger hunt. For the youngest of children, you can simply ask them to find colours or shapes. And for older children, you can be more specific about the objects they need to find. 

You don’t need to have a printout but if you would like one then head over to our blog where you can download an A5 size Nature Bingo for Children sheet and have a go at seeing what you can spot. 

For those of you who want a bit of extra challenge, or to explore new locations as a family, you could try geocaching. Download the free app and have a look to see what caches are in your area. Caches are small capsules that are hidden all across the world. Take a pen with you to sign the log hidden inside once you find it. Geocaching is usually well planned out by locals to the area, and you can find excellent hidden places that you have never visited before. Just be sure to check the difficulty level to ensure the terrain is suitable for youngsters.

A toddler looks at a tree, magnifying glass in hand

2. Spotting Shapes In Clouds

Now for a calmer activity that I’m sure we all did as children. Find a comfy spot and just lie and look at the clouds. Watch as the wind changes their shapes. Talk with your child about the shapes they can see. See if you can develop your ideas into a story. This activity will encourage creativity and mindful breathing. A great one to reduce anxiety and to help you feel grounded.

3. Nature Art

Anything in the world of nature can be used as art. When you are making a piece of artwork, it is naturally a mindful practice. You notice the colours, textures and shapes, and manipulate them in a positive way. Why don’t you try taking a bag or basket on your next walk and see what interesting leaves, feathers, and stones you can find? Once you’ve found a good variety of objects you could try sticking them to paper with PVA glue. How about getting a long piece of string and seeing if you can thread some of your leaves to make a necklace? Or you could go right back to your school days and teach your child how to make a daisy chain.

Please remember to ask permission before taking items, to sustainably harvest items and only pick items that you know are 100% safe to do.

Two toddlers enjoying nature art, doing a bark rubbing on a tree

4. Nature Photography

If art isn’t your thing, how about nature photography? Photography gives you a great sense of mindfulness, as you are not only watching for colour and composition, but you are watching how the light falls too. Have a go at taking photographs of natural phenomena, like the light seeping through the trees, or a close-up of an insect you find on a leaf. You can also manipulate your own photographs by placing twigs or stones in interesting patterns. When you get home, print off the photographs and stick them into a scrapbook. If you have younger children and don’t want to use a camera whilst out walking, you could get them to create a square out of their fingers and thumbs, and talk you through what they see through their ‘lens’.

5. Gardening

Finally, and one of my favourites, teach your child to garden. There is something amazing about helping plants to grow. It takes care, patience, and knowledge. If you do see those sprouts start to shoot, there is an amazing sense of achievement. As well as being a mindful activity, this is a great learning opportunity to teach children where food comes from. It will help them to understand our role in caring for the world around us. You could also practise gratitude with your child. What are they thankful for? What can we appreciate in nature? Bees pollinate the flowers. Trees provide fruit. Rain helps the plants to grow.

A toddler places soil in a pot

Thank you to Faye – Nature Makers

These are just 5 mindfulness ideas that we use in our Nature Makers class to help bring more mindfulness to children and families.

We hope they help you and your little ones to bring more mindfulness into your lives too!

For more information about Nature Makers then visit the website and find your nearest class today for more mindfulness in nature.

Nature Makers is the UK’s leading provider of Mindful Nature Art, Craft & Play experiences for Children & Adults. They help children, families and adults to connect with nature and themselves, by providing mindful nature Art, Craft & Play experiences using Eco-friendly and Vegan inclusive products, so that families can raise their children to have an appreciation of our precious Planet whilst learning mindfulness skills to develop emotional resilience and self esteem.

Want To Get Out And About, Have Fun With Your Baby Or Toddler, And Meet Other Parents?

Search Happity to find everything that’s happening for the under-5’s in your local area – from music and singing classes, to messy play, arts and crafts, baby massage, gymnastics and more. Simply enter your postcode and child’s age to search, and then book your spot in a few taps. Enjoy dedicated fun time with your little one, watch their skills develop, and make friends at the same time. Mums, dads, grandparents and carers will all find something to love!

Find a class today!

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How To Get Started With Potty Training

How To Get Started With Potty Training

Potty training is something some of us parents dread starting with our children. This may be down to not knowing how to teach our child whilst also not knowing how long it will takes.

All children are unique and take to toilet training differently.

Read on to discover tips from Anne Killops, also known as The Gentle Nanny.

How Do You Know When Your Toddler Is Ready For Potty Training?

There was coverage in the news recently that 1 in 4 children are not toilet trained by the time they start school and teachers were spending a third of their day supporting these children! The average age was around 2.5 years that most people started; you may find some are ready earlier or slightly later than this. If you suspect your child has additional needs, you may find their journey may take longer. 

There’s no rush to potty train your child as they need to be ready, have some form of bladder control and understand what is going on to make this time easier for you all. 

Signs That Your Child Is Becoming Aware Of Their Body

These are signs that your little one may be getting a little bit closer to being ready, so keep an eye out for them (and keep them in mind when having conversations with them too).

  • Your child may pause mid-play to fill their nappy
  • They may tell you what they are doing or after they have done a wee or poo. 
  • Your child may go and hide, to do a wee or poo in their nappy so no one can see them.
  • They may ask to sit on the toilet or potty (If you already have one in the house)
  • Your child may have times during the day where their nappy is dry before then doing a wee in it.
A mum and toddler smile as the toddler sits on a potty, a teddy also sits on a potty nearby

Preparation To Start Toilet Training

Introducing the idea of starting to use their potty will make the eventual starting go a bit smoother. Here’s some of my advice:

  • Talk to your child and tell them they are going to start doing their wees and poos on the potty now that they are older.
  • I always recommend starting off using a potty unless your child wants to use a seat on the toilet. A potty is closer to the ground and may feel less scary for your child to sit on.
  • A potty can be of different shapes and sizes but our children’s bottoms are also different so you may need to try a few to see what fits well. 
  • Take your child out to the shops to buy a few essential items to get you both started with toilet training. I would suggest the following: Pants, stickers, story books on toilet training, potty, toilet seat and a portable potty.
  • I would leave a potty in rooms that your child spends time in, so they get used to seeing a potty around and then they can also explore this item.

Time To Start Potty Training 

When it’s time to get started with potty training, there’s a few tips I have to help the process go a little smoother.

  • When teaching your child to develop this skill you need to be calm, patient and consistent with it all.
  • I recommend staying in the house for three days to get your child started with their toilet training and then its less stress for you both if there are lots of accidents. This may not work if you have school runs, but ideally concentrate as much as you can on getting some success on the potty.
  • Praise your child when they sit on the potty regardless if they manage to do anything, there are several ways you can do this. Give them a high five, tell them how clever they are and clapping and smiling, a cuddle and a kiss, or maybe make up a song and do a silly dance.
  • As their excitement slows down, a reward may help and encourage them to sit on the potty and try for a wee etc. This could be a pasta jar, sticker chart, extra screen time or a small piece of chocolate. 
A toddler sits on her potty with her back to the camera, a dolly also sits on a potty next to the toddler

How To Manage Everything Else While Potty Training

There’s a few things you can do outside of that allocated ‘potty time’ that can help to encourage them to use the potty when they need to go:

  • When your child gets up on the first day, you may want to wait for them to wake up and have breakfast before removing their nappy.
  • Remove their nappy and pop them on the potty, your child may only sit there for a few seconds before declaring they have finished. Praise your child for trying and then let them go play.
  • You can leave the bottom half of their body naked or just pants if your child prefers.
  • Give it 30 minutes then offer the potty again, then repeat throughout the day. 
  • After three days you may be able to offer the potty every hour instead of 30 minutes. Then you can stretch the time you offer the potty to an hour and half, then two hours if you feel your child can go that long. But every child is different and the frequency of their toilet habits can change. 
  • Children’s behaviour and mannerisms can change when they are needing to use the potty, watch them for the three days at home and you will notice their signs that they need to use the potty. This could be pausing mid play, squatting, pausing mid-sentence, fidgety, running around more so than normal, unable to sit down. 
  • If your child still has a day time nap, then pop a sleep nappy on them and explain why you have done this. You will do this for the night time sleep as well. For children to be dry when they sleep, they need to develop a hormone and this development varies for each child.

Common Pitfalls Of Potty Training

These are great to keep in mind when you have those tough days. So don’t despair when you want to throw the potty out the window! Here are my tips:

  • It can be very normal for toilet training to be a complete disaster, give it a few days to a week and if it isn’t going well then stop, put your child back in nappies and try again in a few months.
  • It is perfectly normal for your child to sit on the potty, do nothing then get off and then wet themselves.
  • This is the same for a poo, having a wee and a poo is a different sensation and they may pick up the skill of having a wee before a poo on the potty.
  • Your child may be very excited to start potty training but it’s common for them to start getting bored of it or refusing to try, this is where you may introduce a reward or an incentive.

Thank you to Anne – The Gentle Nanny

If you have any concerns over your child and their toilet training, this website is super helpful and contact your doctor or health visitor for further help. 

This blog is written by Anne Killops, also known as The Gentle Nanny. She is a qualified Nursery Nurse, a Nanny, a mum, a certified sleep coach and maternity nurse. With a background in childcare of nearly 30 years’ experience, during this time she became a mum to two lovely boys and realised how hard it is for mums to navigate all aspects of raising our children. During her time in childcare she has toilet trained a large number of children. The Gentle Nanny began a few years ago to help support parents during the fourth trimester period, gentle sleep coaching and meal support. Meal support covers weaning, fussy eating and feeding your children. She also advises on potty training and behaviour. Read more on her Facebook or Instagram.

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