How do you save money, keep a budget and still make the most of the school holidays with kids?
It’s hard to know where to start sometimes. The busy life of a parent means that we don’t always pause to stop and consider how much money we’re spending.
Guest blogger Maddy, creator of the Mad About Money app, shares her top tips for having fun in the school holidays on a budget.
Hey, I’m Maddy from Mad about Money!
I’m a mum of two Harriet (4) and Ben (7) they always want to be out and about, and like most parents I have had to learn to say no (sometimes!) when they ask for things!.
But, also, I am a bit of a penny pincher when it comes to spending. I previously struggled with a spending addiction and got myself into £40,000 of debt in my early twenties.
I learned the hard way and spent six years paying it off…
Don’t worry, it all ended well!
My experience taught me lots of new things, and I have been a consumer money specialist for the last six years. And, excitingly, I have just launched the UK’s first ever social media app dedicated to helping people with money called ‘Mad About Money’ (you can find out more at the end of this post).
Now that you’ve gotten to know me, let’s get onto how you can enjoy the school holidays with your kids while on a budget.
Day-trips
Let’s start with days out. A great source for free things to do are local “what’s on for free?” Facebook groups near you. It’s a super easy way to find out about local events and fetes. And most of them are run to help fund schools or charities so at least if you are spending you know it’s going to a good cause.
Here’s a few of my suggestions for when you’re thinking about taking a day trip:
Visit free & cheap museums
Now this is going to depend on your children’s ages, but mine love to go to museums. They are usually free, very cheap or just ask for a charity donation. They are educational and they take up the majority of the day.
Go to Your local library
Once you have registered, you can take up twenty books at a time. Again a great alternative to screen time. Libraries also tend to do events for little ones, so have a look at your local library for info on what is going on.
Ditch the cinema and watch the blockbusters at home
The cinema is really expensive even if you do get a discount. So why not plan a movie day at home?
For your snacks, try ‘pop at home’ popcorn. It’s way cheaper than bagged stuff. In Sainsburys currently, a pack of 3 is £2.25 (which works out at 75p per bowl), whilst 3 packs of ready popped popcorn is £1.80 per pack totalling £5.40. That’s a price saving of £3.15!
Popping it becomes part of the experience and you get it warm. You can snuggle up and enjoy without having to worry about kids making noise or asking for things.
Bring your food and drink from home to save money in your budget during the school holidays
When you are out and about take plenty of snacks, water bottles and wet wipes. If you decide to grab food while you’re out, be sure to keep an eye out for for kids-eat-free deals.
You can actually save money on wet wipes by cutting up some old towels, wetting them and putting them in a sandwich bag. It saves so much money on buying wipes
Parks
Local parks are always a great activity on the nice sunny days of the summer. And, for the most part, they’re a completely free activity. Especially if you bring toys, food and drink with you. Just remember the suntan lotion, sun hats, and spare clothes!
Here’s my budget-friendly tips for going to parks during the school holidays:
Parks (local or a bus ride away)
My kids love going to the park, but recently we have become really bored of the local ones, so now we go on adventures on the bus! It’s cheap and we can go anywhere. Recently I found a ark with a giant sandpit! That kept them occupied for hours.
Or, if travelling locally, bring the bikes! Bike rides are great for kids, it gets them off their screens and outside.
Niche parks
Niche parks are usually a bit different to local parks. You might need to bring extra gear or a change of clothes for these ones, but they are still good fun.
The skate park is one my kids really love. It occupies both of them for long enough for me to sit and have a nice tea break.
We also love going to the local splash park. It’s council run so, again, it’s free! Check on your local council websites to find out if there’s a splash park near you.
Walks and treasure hunts
Going for walks and doing treasure hunts are fab. Where I live there is a great Mr Men mosaic trail where you can find the Mr Men on your trail. Check online (through local Facebook groups and on the National Trust site) for more information about what’s on near you.
Geocaching
Geocaching is an outdoor recreational activity, in which participants use a Global Positioning System receiver or mobile device and other navigational techniques to hide and seek containers, called “geocaches” or “caches”, at specific locations marked by coordinates all over the world.
It’s a really fun activity, and I would recommend looking it up to see if you can spot any locations near you.
Leave your own creations for others to find
This is a cute activity to do without bringing more clutter into the house. Collect rocks and paint them. Then go to the park and leave them locally for other children to find. There are tons of pages around so you can see who else is doing it locally on Facebook. If you can’t find one, start your own!
Toys
Some ways to get new toys without breaking the bank.
Do a toy swap
Kids get bored of their own toys. Have you ever noticed how when they go to friends houses they just play with everything when they ignore their own? Why not do a toy swap with friends to refresh what you have.
Buy toys second-hand
Last year I picked up a scooter for £6 and a bike for £8 at a car boot sale. If your child doesn’t have a bike or a scooter, they usually have dealers there. But, remember to haggle if you are buying more than one. If you don’t ask you don’t get! And whatever you pick up you can always re-sell when the kids get bored or outgrow it. You can also check out charity shops for second-hand bargains on board games and toys.
Spend a couple of rainy days decluttering, then sell what your kids don’t want anymore
If you have a rainy day (and let’s face it, we live in the UK so it’s highly likely to happen), why not spend it decluttering, sorting out your toys, books and games and do a car boot of your own?
Alternatively, look at Facebook marketplace. I’ve made over £1k in the last six months from selling things we no longer needed! And it really helps you to create space.
Holidays
Prices for a lot of holiday parks or vacations, in general, are most expensive during the school holidays. But you can still take the kids on holiday while on a budget.
Here’s my advice:
Plan in advance your budget before the school holidays
If you can, try to plan your trip in advance, searching for discounts online well before you leave.
Tips if you want to travel last minute
If you are booking last minute, check out sites like planschange.com, where people sell rooms at a discount because they are no longer required. If you’re using AirBnB, make sure to check out reviews from other families so that the property is suitable for your children.
Family passes
If you take day trips regularly, then it’s often worth the initial or annual fee for a loyalty membership or pass. Here’s a couple that I recommend:
National Trust
National Trust are not very expensive and they give you lots of places to visit, you will more than get your money’s worth.
Kids Pass
If you are looking for theme parks , zoos or soft plays on a budget I highly recommend Kids Pass , you can try for a month for just £1 and cancel afterwards. Even if you sign up for the month just to book then cancel you will save more than your £1 investment.
Remember to keep a budget during the school holidays
Budgets don’t have to be boring. I make sure that I budget for both the everyday costs, and the fun stuff too! I have a binder where I take out cash at the beginning of the month , and I pop money in pockets and allocate to fun things. I even include, “pub” “self care” “days out” and “takeaways”. It really helps!
This way I know when I’m making plans that, if there is nothing in the envelope, I can’t do that thing, or that I need to reschedule. I make sure to allocate the money so I can treat myself guilt-free.
As parents and guardians, it’s hard to prioritise ourselves. Making sure you add “you” to the budget will mean you don’t forget to take time out and look after your own mental health.
Where to find Maddy
Thanks Maddy for the brilliant money-saving advice for those of us wanting to do the school holidays on a budget.
Mad About Money is the UK’s first social financial education app , helping both consumers and business owners to spend less and earn more money.
For more money saving tips, follow @Madaboutmoneyapp on Instagram or TikTok
And you can download the Mad About Money for free on the Google Play and Apple.
Want to get out and about, have fun with your baby or toddler, and meet other parents?
Search Happity to find everything that’s happening for the under-5’s in your local area – from music and singing classes, to messy play, arts and crafts, baby massage, gymnastics and more. Simply enter your postcode and child’s age to search, and then book your spot in a few taps. Enjoy dedicated fun time with your little one, watch their skills develop, and make friends at the same time. Mums, dads, grandparents and carers will all find something to love!
There’s nothing better for a toddler than a sunny day filled with fun (and easy to set up) outdoor activities.
It can feel near impossible to burn off the endless energy of a bouncing child, but it’s entirely possible and you don’t need to spend lots to do it. In fact, you can find an endless supply of entertainment in your kitchen cupboards, out in the park, and in your kids toybox.
Here’s our list of fun outdoor activities you can do without breaking the bank.
Water art
One that always seems to keep little ones occupied for a surprising amount of time. And all it takes is a cup of water and a sunny day!
Find a dry part of your garden (on solid smooth ground like concrete) and allow your little one to draw shapes, faces, and whatever they want with the water. Using their finger, a paintbrush, or anything they like really!
Happity Colour hunt
Help your kids to develop their perception of colours with this brilliant activity sheet!
Print this free downloadable sheet we’ve made below and take it out with you on a walk. As you go through the park (or wherever your adventure is taking you) collect the different items that match up with the colours.
Let the multi-colour treasure hunt begin! (And tag us on Instagram @happityapp to show us your loot)
Is the ground not quite as dry as you were hoping it was?
Not to worry, this activity is a perfect one to help develop your little ones motor skills (and helps you with the cleaning up too!) Find any of your kids’ outdoor cars, trucks, and any other vehicles they have, and then let them drive it through the mud!
Once they’ve gotten their wheels nice and muddy, bring them a bowl of water and a sponge. And that’s it! They’ll have a surprising amount of fun getting messy and then cleaning it off again.
Fun & simple outdoor activity for toddlers: Pavement chalk art
Want to help develop your child’s motor skills?
Find yourself some “sidewalk chalk” that’s suitable for age 3+, and let your kids have a blast drawing out everything from their wildest imaginations. And the joy of chalk is that it’s not permanent, it can be washed away with water (or can wait until the next downpour of rain).
Find fun outdoor activities for toddlers on Happity
There’s plenty of fun outdoor activities for toddlers listed on Happity!
Whether you’re looking for fitness in the wild outdoors, or somewhere where you and your little ones can connect with nature, there’s plenty to discover and try. You may even make some mum and dad friends along the way!
Draw a “Chalk Walk” challenge
Create an adventure path made of chalk!
It’s really up to you what sort of instructions you want to have for your chalk walk. Add twenty jumps in a circle. Follow a twisty turning line. Tell them to hold their hand ‘here’ and count to ten. Tell them to stand on one foot and tap their nose.
There’s lots of different options, and as long as it doesn’t rain immediately, it will stay around for at least a few days. Your kids will walk around it again and again.
Leaf Printing
When you are next on your walk, remember to pick up and bring home some of your favourite leaves. They’re going to make for a perfect tool for this next activity!
Get out the paintbrushes, sponges, or rollers, and put some toddler-friendly paint in a tray. Then paint your leaves. Once you have enough on there, flip them over and print them on a clean piece of paper.
And there you have it! A perfect print of your favourite leaf that you can treasure forever.
Rock painting
Just like the one above, this one is super easy. Just be sure to remember to collect your favourite rocks on your next adventure out to the park!
Once you’ve returned home, get out the paint and the brushes, and have at it. A perfect canvas, and a cute keepsake for your little one.
Or, if you and your kids don’t want to keep them, take them back to the park and leave them for someone else to find! You’ll really make a strangers day if they discover them.
Go for a “sound walk”
It’s time to go on a sound walk!
A sound walk, if you haven’t been on one before, involves taking a checklist out on your usual stroll and ticking off any of the things you hear on your journey. It’s a simple activity, but it’s great for mindfulness and keeps your toddlers occupied while getting that well needed fresh air.
We’ve even created a free and fun printable checklist for you, just to save you the hassle of making one yourself.
What do those Lego-people get up to when we’re not looking? We’re sure that’s what our kids are wondering.
Grab one of the Lego-people (avoid using one of their favourites), press their feet into some washable paint on a paper plate, and create a trail around your garden. It’s a good way for your tots to follow a trail and it sparks their imagination too!
We’re going on a (Teddy) bear hunt!
This one might take a bit of prep, but it will be lots of fun for your tot!
Grab some of your toddler’s teddies, and hide them in secret locations in your garden. If you want to make it extra special, find a spot out of the way where you can sit the bears together on a small cloth for a secret teddy bear’s picnic!
Water gun painting
A wonderfully creative way to make some art!
Mix together toddler-friendly washable paint and water into a water-pistol, set up your (large) piece of paper, and have at it!
This usual water fight weapon will become a fabulous arty tool. It’s one of those fun outdoor activities for toddlers that you will find yourself setting up over and over. You’ll find yourself wanting to have a go too!
Fun outdoor activities for toddlers: Have a picnic
The final one to our list, and you can’t beat a classic!
Use a picnic blanket, and bring along all of your kids familiar favourite snacks. It will really go down a treat! Whether you are taking your basket out to your local park or you’re staying close to home in the garden, kids love to spend time with you and their plush friends.
Want to get out and about, have fun with your baby or toddler, and meet other parents?
Search Happity to find everything that’s happening for the under-5’s in your local area – from music and singing classes, to messy play, arts and crafts, baby massage, gymnastics and more. Simply enter your postcode and child’s age to search, and then book your spot in a few taps. Enjoy dedicated fun time with your little one, watch their skills develop, and make friends at the same time. Mums, dads, grandparents and carers will all find something to love!
Our city guide to Glasgow’s most-loved local classes, activities, parks, farms, businesses and services for babies, toddlers and parents
A Bit About Glasgow
The second largest city in the UK with a population of a whopping 600,000 people, Glasgow is home to significantly more people than Scotland’s capital. There’s some great facts that have come out of Glasgow… Want to hear a few? Here’s three that surprised us!
It’s officially where the Chicken Tikka Masala was invented
It is home to fossilised trees that are older than the dinosaurs
The city chambers contain more marble than Vatican City!
It’s not difficult to understand why so many people are choosing Glasgow to raise their families. We wanted to know some of the best picks of things to do in the area, and reached out to the young families of Glasgow. After receiving many many manyrecommendations, we gathered together a list of t activities, destinations and services for you and your little ones.
We firmly believe that nobody knows their community better than the parents and carers pounding the pavements every day, so if there’s anywhere on here we’ve missed, let us know – we’re always keen to hear about great classes, activities and businesses for babies and toddlers. Better still, if you’re a class provider, we would love to feature you in our listings – you can sign up below.
When in doubt, go for a play centre! Little ones can keep entertained for hours at these colourful venues, and all of the below have all the proper facilities you’ll need, including a cafe nearby for when you need your that well-needed tea break.
Bouncy, colourful, inflatable fun! Inflata Nation is an enormous amount of joy for both you and your little ones. They have multiple areas to leap around safely and carefully, and a brilliant under-4’s only “Inflata Tots” that’s perfect for your little one’s.
This charity run playhub is a great addition to our list, and a great affordable place to regularly play. They have three large rooms that are all catered to under 5’s. Whilst not free, they keep charges low with £3 per session (and £1 for each additional child) or £15 for a year’s membership.
Whether you’re looking for soft play, roleplay or even a puppet show -you’ll find it down on Fun Street. They have multiple interactive areas, and there’s lots of entertainment to pick from. Not to mention that the food at this venue looks so delish!
Silverburn Shopping Centre, Barrhead Rd, Glasgow G53 6AG
“Make play a priority!” Catered specifically for the under 5’s, this soft play is a perfect pick for our list. Everything that you might need from a soft play is available here, and it’s a great pick for a last-minute decision to go out as bookings aren’t a requirement. They’re happy to let you walk-in.
Unit 1-3, 1201 Duke St, Parkhead, Glasgow, G31 5NZ
Glasgow’s best… Museum’s and Galleries
Happity are definitely big fans of museums. They’re the perfect place to allow your little one’s curiosity run wild. And they’re ideal for those families with older kids too!
We probably wouldn’t recommend this one for really little ones, but it is a perfect place to introduce bigger kids to art and culture when you think they are ready, and it is completely free.
Another fantastic museum, and with even more available for your kids. This one has a great “Mini Museum Explorers” session that offers interactivity and allows your 2-5 year old to explore the museum in a unique and engaging way.
100 Pointhouse Place, Glasgow, United Kingdom
Glasgow’s best… Baby and Toddler Classes
Do you fancy sampling a class that will help your little one develop a new skill? Or maybe you’re looking for somewhere to relax and find your tribe? Try some of these!
Tappy Toes offer movement classes for little ones. Get your kids twirling and galloping to action songs, then enjoy a special imagination section of the class when you pretend you’re a princess, a dinosaur or even a scary monster. These classes are designed to develop coordination and motor skills amongst other things.
Bright colours, bright lights, bright babies! This is a great independent sensory class for your little one. They have a variety of different sessions, giving you plenty of choice as to what’s best suited to you and your child.
Helping your little one to build on their co-ordination through repetitive routines, the preschool ballet, tap and modern classes are a great pathway into dance lessons. They are well structured, and very cute too!
This church-run activity offers multiple forms of playtime, as well as a chance for you as a parent to get the chance to chat with other families. They have an exciting play area with themed equipment, a bouncy castle and soft play. AND sensory activities led from the front including singing, music and imaginative play.
Toddle In is a beautiful venue in Glasgow South that runs both classes and is the home of “Bonnie Bear clothing”, where you can shop for adorable baby items. In this space, they run classes, offer parent meet ups, birthday parties and run play sessions for children aged 0-5 years.
179 Clarkston Road Glasgow, Scotland, G44, United Kingdom
A great fitness class for young and expecting mums: Baby Fit specialise in pre and postnatal health and wellbeing programmes from pregnancy fitness, postnatal recovery & strength sessions. They have a few locations around Scotland, and are only growing more and more every day!
An independent activity that has received multiple recommendations from the people of Glasgow. Whether you’re looking for baby massage, yoga, or even baby first aid: there’s a variety of sessions that are more than perfect for you and your little one.
4 Victoria Circus, Dowanhill, Glasgow G12 9LD
Happity is the UK’s biggest platform dedicated exclusively to baby & toddler classes. We’re expanding in Glasgow and are keen to hear about more classes and activities for little ones – get in touch if you can help! We’re always open to recommendations!
Glasgow’s best… Parks
Happity are definitely big fans of outdoor spaces so here’s a couple of recommendations to get your little ones out and about in the fresh air:
3 different play areas, and 3 different cafes across the grounds, this park is well worth a visit. They have highly recommended river-side walks, and plenty to do. Plus, it’s a gorgeous green space where you can clear your lungs and take in the fresh air.
Events all year round, and plenty of weekly running activities to get stuck in. They have a “junior parkrun”, which is held weekly and a great way to get those legs moving (and it’s completely free).
Full of rich history, and with breath-taking grounds, Pollok Country park offers a wide range of activities. Explore the gardens, venture through the maze, or take curious woodland walks.
There’s lots to explore within this park. There’s a large green space, and plenty of perfect picnic locations. There’s also a beautiful walled garden to explore too, if you want to let an inquisitive mind have the chance to find more. And from early March to mid October on weekends, they even have a bouncy castle.
Giffnock, East Renfrewshire, G46 7UG
Would you consider yourself a local expert?
Happity is the UK’s biggest platform dedicated exclusively to baby & toddler classes. We’re expanding in Glasgow and are keen to hear about more classes and activities for little ones – get in touch if you can help!
At what point are the stressful feelings from being a parent classed as Anxiety? And how can we find help for it?
It’s easy to dismiss the symptoms of anxiety as being stress from becoming a new parent. If we bring up how we’re feeling in conversation, it can sometimes be named as common, misplaced as general woes for early parenthood. But that can make it so difficult to admit when we are struggling, and even harder to find help for it.
We asked our team members to offer insight ito how they dealt with anxiety as parents. We hope they can help you to understand what anxiety as a parent is like and feel less alone if you are experiencing Anxiety yourself.
Note: We have an extensive list of where you can reach out for support on our PND support page. If you are looking for help, we encourage you to reach out to one of the organisations listed there.
What is anxiety, and how do you identify it?
According to the NHS website, there are a number of symptoms that, when experienced on a long-term basis, could be a sign of Anxiety as a parent. Here’s what the NHS lists as common symptoms:
Physical symptoms may include:
Faster, irregular or more noticeable heartbeat
Feeling lightheaded and dizzy
Headaches
Chest pains
Loss of appetite
Sweating
Breathlessness
Feeling hot
Shaking
Mental symptoms may include:
Feeling tense or nervous
Being unable to relax
Worrying about the past or future
Feeling tearful
Not being able to sleep
Difficulty concentrating
Fear of the worst happening
Intrusive traumatic memories
Obsessive thoughts
And you might notice the following changes in behaviour:
Not being able to enjoy your leisure time
Difficulty looking after yourself
Struggling to form or maintain relationships
Worried about trying new things
Avoiding places and situations that create anxiety
Compulsive behaviour, such as constantly checking things
What was your experience like with anxiety as a parent?
What happened that you might not have expected to?
In hindsight, I struggled with prenatal anxiety…
In my third trimester, I was getting really hot and sweaty (lovely!) in situations where I felt ‘stuck’. And thus continued throughout the postnatal depression. It still sometimes affects me today. It would hit if stuck in a queue, a restaurant, and places where there were large groups of people (parties, at my church, on public transport).
I’d have an immense sense of needing to leave to get fresh air. I’d generally feel good as soon as I left, but if I tried to ‘stick it out’ and then left I’d be running on adrenaline for quite a while after. I also found that sometimes I’d just wake up with an anxious feeling in my stomach/chest for no apparent reason.
-Emily Tredget, Co-founder of Happity
I felt that the birth going wrong was somehow my fault and I was resentful that the movie scene moment that I had pictured hadn’t happened.
It’s no surprise that my mental health suffered following this. I experienced PND, PTSD and postnatal anxiety. Although I have the most incredible husband, family & friends, I kept most of what I was experiencing to myself. And I kept being selective with what I shared with people about how I was feeling.
I was having intrusive thoughts and I was so worried that if I told people the full extent of everything, they would take my son away. There was a (un)healthy dose of paranoia involved too! I was so determined that how I was feeling would not affect my ability to be an amazing mum and so just carried on pretending that everything was ok.
-Lisa Thompson
I didn’t particularly recognise (intrusive thoughts) as anything connected with mental health. I just kind of accepted that motherhood had changed me and that this was ‘who I am now’.
After my daughter was born in 2019 I suffered from very intrusive and anxious thoughts for over a year.
The daytimes were ok, I enjoyed going out with Lucy, doing classes, and caring for my new baby. But in the evenings my brain would start to produce these awful disaster scenarios – if we had a long car journey coming up, I would turn it into a crash; if anyone I knew was getting on a plane, I felt certain it was going to fall out of the sky. I imagined Lucy catching every infection and disease under the sun, or – before social occasions – that someone would drop her or stand on her while I was looking the other way (I was a bit obsessed with people dropping her, for some reason.)
-Mother from Team Happity
What made you anxious as a parent?
I was worried that if I felt really ill (physically) I wouldn’t be able to care for him.
It was a strange thing looking back, and often the anxiety of that then made me feel physically unwell (sometimes I’d hardly be able to keep my eyes open) and then I’d have to call my mum to help.
Sleep also made me very anxious. I struggled with insomnia from when my son was 3 months until he was about 9 months. And if he missed a nap or got off his routine I’d worry it would throw me out and I’d not sleep again that night. So I’d often go to bed with my brain running on adrenalin. I only managed to stop this when I started going to bed when I felt REALLY tired, not when I felt I SHOULD be tired!
-Emily Tredget
Although part of me knew those disaster scenarios were far-fetched and unlikely, they left a lingering sense of dread which was harder to shift than the thoughts themselves.
This dread would escalate throughout the evening and I was really scared of going to bed; the closer we got to bedtime, the more sure I became that something terrible would happen while I was asleep. I was staying up later and later, or not going to bed at all – sitting on the sofa watching TV all night while Lucy slept in my arms. Often I was too scared to even put her down.
-Mother from Team Happity
What helped you to recover?
Is there anything that helped you find comfort / helped to cope with this?
I’ve tried many things!
There is a book called ‘Dare’ that I found really useful. I’ve also tried CBT and other therapies. The one that helped the most was where the therapist helped me (and my husband) to be ok with myself even if I struggled with anxiety forever. We were both trying everything we could to fix me. And this was putting even more pressure on me. As soon as he stopped trying to fix me, I could (slowly!) stop trying to fix me, the pressure came off my shoulders and little by little I improved! Sounds counterintuitive but really worked.
-Emily Tredget
For a while, I was in a cycle of being OK to panic attacks and back to being OK again…
After three years of riding this emotional rollercoaster, I decided enough was enough. I reached out and was referred to a psychotherapist. Almost immediately after the first session I felt lighter, safer, and understood. My worst fears of sharing those hidden thoughts did not come true. She was understanding and helped me to realise that what I was experiencing was (sadly) common and not insurmountable. She has given me hope that I will fully recover and that my PND, PTSD & anxiety will be a thing of the past very soon.
I am now almost at the end of my sessions with my therapist and it’s like the clouds have parted. I have solid strategies to manage my anxiety and I am feeling ready to live life to the full again.
For anyone out there reading this and going through the same thing I have these messages:
You are not alone
It’s not your fault
It’s ok to let people know what’s going on
It can get better with some help
You are a wonderful parent and are doing the best you can
– Lisa Thompson
I didn’t seek treatment for quite a while, looking back, I guess I didn’t think mental health support was ‘for me’.
I wasn’t having panic attacks, I wasn’t depressed, and I wasn’t staying home all day. I had a very cliched image of what postnatal depression and anxiety looked like, and I didn’t fit the bill. But then I had a call from our local women’s psychological health unit (I was on their list after mentioning to my midwife that I felt a bit down during pregnancy), and I thought I might as well go in for the screening. To my surprise, the psychologist recommended that I have twelve weeks of treatment.
During these sessions, I was taught mindfulness and visualisation techniques which did help a bit, although not with the dread. Once I was ‘in treatment’, I felt I had permission to discuss what was going on with my partner in a way I hadn’t before, and this opening up was actually the thing which had the greatest impact on my recovery. Instead of letting my disasters escalate in my mind, or trying to push them away, I would talk about them. Often we would end up laughing because they were so outlandish, like soap opera storylines.
-Mother from Team Happity
How are you now?
I still struggle sometimes, even now.
I ensure I eat well, exercise, and go to sleep when I NEED to. But given I was the most anxious person I think I’ve ever met (postnatally) I’m happy with where I am now!
-Emily Tredget
My son is now three and a half he is quite simply, miraculous.
He went through so much, but you’d never know. He is my little lion and I love seeing the world through his eyes; his excitement and wonder at everyday things, and how quick he is to laugh uncontrollably at the smallest joke. When he holds my hand, I am reminded of that first night together in the hospital. And of the unbreakable love that we have. I am so glad that I found the support I needed. We feel assured that we can now carry on exploring the world together happily.
-Lisa Thompson
The thoughts didn’t go away overnight…
Even now I catch myself slipping back into old habits when I’m super tired, or when there’s something big coming up, like a long flight. But understanding these triggers, and being able to vocalise and describe how I’m feeling, even if it’s just to myself, helps me to move past them, rather than getting trapped. Four years on, and with a second child now 15 months old, my feelings about bedtime have completely reversed. I look forward to it all day!
-Mother from Team Happity
Where you can find support for anxiety as a parent
We have an extensive list on our PND support page where parents and guardians can seek mental health support when they need it. If you relate to any of the stories mentioned above and think that you may be experiencing anxiety as a parent, then we encourage you to reach out to a support system and receive help. This can include associations such as APNI, Hub of Hope, House of Light and others listed on our support page
If you are facing a crisis, we urge you to talk to a GP, call 999 or contact a crisis line such as any of the following:
Disclaimer: We have researched and included robust sources to provide information in this article. However, we are not health or medical professionals and you should always seek medical or professional advice if you are worried about yourself, your partner’s or your baby’s health.
Want to get out and about, have fun with your baby or toddler, and meet other parents?
Search Happity to find everything that’s happening for the under-5’s in your local area – from music and singing classes, to messy play, arts and crafts, baby massage, gymnastics and more. Simply enter your postcode and child’s age to search, and then book your spot in a few taps. Enjoy dedicated fun time with your little one, watch their skills develop, and make friends at the same time. Mums, dads, grandparents and carers will all find something to love!
Breathe Melodies For Mums is a free weekly group-singing session run by the social enterprise Breathe Arts Health Research (Breathe). With a focus on supporting mothers who are at risk of postnatal depression, the programme is backed by ground-breaking research that showed for new mums with moderate-severe symptoms, group singing led to faster recovery than creative play or care as normal. Since its launch in 2017, over 500 new mothers and their babies have participated in the programme.
We spoke with Coco, mum to 10-month-old Eliyah, and participant in the programme, to find out more about her experience.
“I Struggled With My Mental Health During Pregnancy”
When Coco fell pregnant unexpectedly, her family and friends were thrilled. But her own feelings were more complicated.
“They were all so happy,” she explains. “And I was like, ‘I’m not where you are. I don’t know what to do.’ Pregnancy felt surreal.”
Although Coco was excited to meet her baby, she was struggling with anxiety, especially around medical situations, and a fear of being sick (emetophobia), both of which were exacerbated by pregnancy. On top of these, as a single parent, she had financial concerns.
“I was asking myself, ‘am I going to be able to look after her?’ she says.
“My Focus Was Now On Her”
After Eliyah was born, Coco pushed herself to get out of the house.
“My focus was now on her,’ she explains. “Which enabled me to get out of my own mindset, and focus on the benefits that she would get from what we’re doing. That helped a lot.”
She started attending baby groups and classes, although what she calls ‘mini-anxieties’ continued. She would worry about Eliyah catching illnesses from other children, and she struggled with being on buses and public transport. Eventually these worries stopped her from getting out.
It was her therapist who recommended Breathe Melodies For Mums.
“He asked me, ‘What makes you happy?’ and I told him: singing. Now my daughter was here, I also wanted to do something which incorporated her.”
“Music Transports Me To A Different Realm”
When Coco talks about music, her face lights up.
“It transports me to a different realm,” she says. “Of contentment, happiness, joy, hope, fulfilment. I feel like a superhero!”
Already a prolific songwriter in her own home studio, Breathe Melodies For Mums provided an opportunity for Coco to sing in a group, and meet other mums at the same time.
“I told myself, ‘Look,’” she says. “‘Step out and just do it.’”
First Day Nerves
Despite her determination, Coco still had worries as she headed to the venue.
“I was fine when I was leaving the house,’ she explains. ‘But as soon as I got off the bus to go to the place, I started feeling anxious. I felt sick and started sweating.”
As the group settled down and started to sing, however, Coco felt herself become more grounded in the moment, and to come out of her own thoughts. Afterwards, the mums chatted, and began to share their experiences.
“It Felt Like Going To Meet The Family”
As the weeks went on, Coco formed a bond with the other mothers in the group. Meanwhile Eliyah, an ‘energy bunny’ who rarely sits still, was soothed by the music, and usually ended up falling asleep, much to her mum’s surprise!
Now the programme is over, we asked if Coco still connects with the group.
“We just met up yesterday!” she replies. “I organised a park day, because I had missed them. I said we should come together to do some singing, and just catch-up. Funnily enough we ended up talking about anxiety. It felt like going to meet the family.”
I Would Encourage Other Mothers to Go Along
We talk about Coco’s mental health now, and how far she has come since the programme. It wasn’t just the singing, she explains, but interacting with other mums, and hearing their stories, which helped, making her feel less alone. And there were benefits for her relationship with Eliyah too.
“It helped me interact with her a lot more through music, through singing. I would sing the songs at home and realise she recognised them! That was awesome.” Alongside this, Coco’s confidence in herself as a mum has grown. “I started to see that my relationship with her – what I’m doing for her – it’s enough,” she says. “I am enough.”
“What’s the worst thing that can happen?”
We finished off our chat to Coco with one final question: would you recommend the programme to other mums? To which she responded with an enthusiastic, “Absolutely.” Her advice to those who were hesitant was to ask yourself, “why not? If you’re someone who suffers with anxiety, you’re going to think the worst things. The worst thing that can happen is you might feel anxious. But you can just walk away.”
“You will realise how helpful it is,” she goes on to say. “In terms of learning from other mothers. You will feel better from it. It’s like if you go to the gym, and you have a tough session, but you feel great at the end. You get that boost of happiness and confidence. That’s what Breathe Melodies for Mums brings.”
If you feel that you may be experiencing anxiety as a new parent, we recommend seeking help from your GP, Midwife or Health Visitor or you can talk to the Samaritans (116 123) where you can discuss how you’re feeling in confidence.
Want to get out and about, have fun with your baby or toddler, and meet other parents?
Search Happity to find everything that’s happening for the under-5’s in your local area – from music and singing classes, to messy play, arts and crafts, baby massage, gymnastics and more. Simply enter your postcode and child’s age to search, and then book your spot in a few taps. Enjoy dedicated fun time with your little one, watch their skills develop, and make friends at the same time. Mums, dads, grandparents and carers will all find something to love!
Recent Comments